Procrastination etc.

Doing practice GRE verbal problems makes me realize just how much GT has ruined my grammar and vocabulary. My once-plentiful vocabulary and knowledgeable understanding of grammar now lie in a state of desuetude. Hell, even technical writing at GT is merely a guise for excessive passive voice and a penchant for jargon. Ironically, I’m writing about language to procrastinate from working more problems. I haven’t posted in over a week, and I feel like maybe starting a blog wasn’t the best thing to do. Oops. Too late.

This summer semester has gradually been getting busier and busier. I thought my RA position just required me to code a bunch of C++ libraries; however, it’s since grown into much more than that. I haven’t actually coded a single line since the start of this semester. Instead, I’ve been reading up on past papers and developing an understanding for AI/inference and algorithms relating to the distributed simultaneous location and mapping (SLAM) problem, most of it material generally covered by graduate level AI courses. The topic has a marginal relation to my own proposed research, multi-agent line-of-sight constrained surveying, so I suppose I should be happy that I’m working on something relevant to my own research and something that is probably publishable. The project itself is a rather complex conglomeration of government research labs, well-known universities, and, of course, industry. MIT, Caltech, Harvard, JPL, and BAE Systems are just some of the big names involved. (Some information can be found here.) Unfortunately, the time commitment required means that I have close to zero free time, a situation reminiscent of the previous two semesters and one I did not plan for this summer. At least I get paid. Heh.

I feel like I haven’t been able to enjoy college to fullest. At the same time, I ask myself if I would have enjoyed being the average Joe. I wonder if I could just take an academic schedule like the average schmuck, ace the crap out of my classes, and graduate in four years with two degrees and a 4.0, while having more time to spend on myself and friends. I’m in a flexible position though. If I get into a “better” school, I’ll have successfully skipped a year while still retaining the employment advantage of going to said “better” school or have a better shot at a PhD, if that’s what I choose by then. I’d also have shown up all the assholes who rubbed it in my face when I didn’t get into an Ivy+ school and couldn’t go to Caltech. I’m not sure which one is more satisfying. If I stay at Tech for grad school, I’ll be out in a year for sure. It feels so weird that I’ll be applying to grad schools this fall. I feel old.

The Chinese culture (and probably Asian culture in general), in this respect, is marked by appearances. Most Chinese parents I’ve met judge people by which college they got in, irrelevant of their performance. They heap fulsome praise on kids who get into Ivy+ schools. I feel like they’re stuck in that sophistry. Students who get into a renowned school automatically have a better chance at life and are thus above their peers who end up studying at a lesser institution. Certainly, some correlation between higher academic performance at a “good” college and success in life exists, but it isn’t causal. More snobby people aggrandize themselves by using their numbers, SAT, GPA, GRE. There’s nothing wrong with being proud, but a thin line differentiates grounded pride and the airy self-worth generated by such numbers. I’m sure some may call me hypocritical for not appreciating my own institution, one that certainly offers a better education than most colleges in the world, but it suffices to say that I try not to take part in this superficial analysis. I’m proud yet unsatisfied with my academic achievement, but I usually don’t mention my academic life to boast; it’s just a larger part of my college life than most people. Anyhow, William Deresiewicz wrote a terrific article for the American Scholar detailing why the stereotypical Ivy League education isn’t all smiles. I strongly encourage anybody with some opinion on this to read the article here.

I’ll end with what I’m currently playing on foobar. Ellie Goulding has grown to be popular since after I discovered her, but I feel like MTV showcased mostly all the wrong tracks. Home sounds so much better than Starry Eyed.